You're beautiful, just the way you are...

2012-01-08T21:44:00.003+08:00

I have come to learn that we do not necessarily need each other in our lives; we are essentially individual, lone beings, who comes into the world alone and leaves alone.

2012-01-01T13:46:00.009+08:00

I've not done this in a long, long time - a mega photo post! Enjoy and Happy 2012! :)

Happenings in Dec 2011

Standard Chartered Marathon (5km fun run) with JH - 04.12.11

A Night at the Oscars @ Grand Hyatt Singapore - 08.12.11

With some of the HR ladies - 08.12.11

Brunch @ Food for Thought - 17.12.11

Full Works *salivates...

Banana & Walnuts Pancakes served with Fresh Cream and Gula Melaka Syrup

Christmas Party with S' soccer team - 24.12.11

Boxing Day Out with SF @ I12 Katong - 26.12.11

Titantic Exhibition with S - 28.12.11

Dinner with my favourite girls - 29.12.11

Beautiful sunset @ Punggol Marina - 31.12.11

Giant Fish spotted @ Great Atlantis Seafood - 31.12.11

New Year's Eve with <3

2011-12-29T13:55:00.003+08:00

I'm so glad for this one week of rest, which very much brings a nice closure to the year 2011. I admit I haven't been writing much in this space as I haven't been able to find time to recollect my thoughts. Work and weekly meet-ups take up a majority of my time now, which is why I'm savoring every minute of my break while it lasts. :)

2011 has been a great year so far, despite its highs and lows of human relationships. Nonetheless, what I have learned so far in the past year is to live in the now and to count my blessings daily. I am very grateful for everything that I have now - a happy and complete family, friends I can keep for life, a partner whom I can share everything with and who accepts me for who I am, a job which keeps me busy and more importantly, a healthy mind, body and soul.

In the new year, I want to work hard at keeping these human relationships stronger, do best in my job and continue to be healthy and happy. :)

Happy New Year!

2011-11-06T22:33:00.004+08:00

Time really flies. It's already Nov and 2011 will becoming to an end in a month's time. It is only in such circumstances that I will do some soul-searching and ask myself the following questions:

- What have you achieved thus far?
- What goals have you accomplished?
- Is this what you want to do and where you want to be at this point in your life?
- If not, what can you do or what changes can you make in order to lead a more purposeful and happier life?

Despite making a big decision to jump ship to another company in the middle of this year, (where the current workload is definitely lighter), I am certain this is not where I want to be or what I want to be doing five years down the road. Which is why I am considering jumping out of this ship again...

I love the company, the people and the benefits they have rolled out for employees. But I do not like what I am doing currently. It is all mundane, rather brain-less work and I wonder how long I am able to tolerate all these mundane-ness.

I am thirsty for challenges and more importantly, I am in search for meaningful work; one in which I do good at and one that continuously stretches my abilities in ways I never thought possible.

Well, good luck to me and those who are on their way to realizing their dreams. Gambette! :)

2011-08-09T14:25:00.003+08:00

I don't even know why or what I'm holding on to anymore.

I miss the yesteryears, the carefree-er days, the happier days.

2011-07-31T22:37:00.002+08:00

I realized I've been neglecting this space for quite some time. So have my thoughts.

I don't know if I'm pure lazy or work is taking up too much of my time that I'd rather keep everything - all my thoughts and feelings - to myself than to rant it in this space. How unhealthy.

2011-07-21T22:46:00.003+08:00

I cannot believe after so many years, it is still you.

Dream away happily, dream, dream, dream.

My only fear now is that I may disappoint you greatly one day.

2011-05-10T22:50:00.002+08:00

I have finally decided to step out of my comfort zone and make a bold decision. I don't know if this is a right choice; I can only hope and pray that it is one. Come what may.

The negative thoughts are back to haunt me again, just like how they did 6 months ago. The fear. The uncertainities. The level and depth of trust and commitment. The love.

Sometimes I wish I can drop off everything and take flight - to backpack around the beautiful world; meet people; embrace nature and experience the different cultures and lands.

These are very random and incoherent thoughts. I miss this little cosy space of personal thoughts. I'll be back soon.

2011-04-21T10:01:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to Me! Pictures to share first, more thoughts and reflections about turning 24 later. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying my 5 days of leave to the fullest! :)

2011-04-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

Emptiness.

2011-03-30T22:59:00.003+08:00

It has been a long time since I last touched this space.

I have mixed emotions right now. A gazillion number of things are running through my mind at the same time which explains the inconsistent flow of writing.

I miss having me-time. I crave for it more than I have ever before.

I loathe the routined work life. All I need now is not a break; all I need now is much courage to take a great leap into the unknown.

It is time I stop watching each day pass me by and start living life. It is time I live with a purpose; a dream; an ultimate goal. It is time I move out of my comfort zone, set priorities, quit procrastinating and make it happen.

Where have all the passion and zest for life gone to? Where have all the smiles and the positiveness gone to?

Courage. I need you.

2011-03-13T22:23:00.002+08:00

And the cycle continues - 5 days of non-stop hard work before 2 days of pure enjoyment beckons.

All I can think of now is to catch up on loss sleep.

Goodnight. Have a great week ahead!

2011-03-09T23:04:00.002+08:00

My exhausted soul cannot take this hectic and routined lifestyle anymore. I'm more emotionally than physically drained.

It's probably time to raise the white flag.

2011-03-07T23:10:00.002+08:00

It's always so easy to give up. In the wise words of Stephen Covey, the freedom to CHOOSE is one of our natural birth gifts. I know I have a choice right now but I'm not about to give up yet.

Until then, I can't wait for the day where I can embrace liberation with pure bliss and glee.

Wish me luck.

2011-03-02T22:58:00.002+08:00

More than anything else right now, I want OUT. May endless job opportunities come knocking on my door.

This I pray.

Amen.

2011-02-17T22:28:00.001+08:00

放手　
放開所有　
彼此更自由　
放手　
其實我絕非愛得不夠　

放手　
豁出所有　
還有這個好友　
已經足夠

2011-02-05T00:18:00.006+08:00

Your hopes and dreams about us for the future always leave me flabbergasted. I don't mean to put you off, but I really don't know how to respond to the statements. One on hand, it is heartening to hear about them, while on the other, I know there is this lingering and unspoken fear (of failure) inside us.

Take it slow my dear; we have only just began.

2011-02-03T23:18:00.002+08:00

I'm enjoying the long CNY break. I've not had a proper rest since last April so this break is very much welcomed. I can wake up anytime I want, watch tv programmes the whole day long, turn in after midnight, exercise regularly, and most importantly, spend quality time with my family. What more can I ask for? :)

May the Year of the Rabbit bring more happiness, better health and wealth for all! Xin Nian Kuai Le!

2011-02-03T23:15:00.002+08:00

Where has all the hope gone to?

2011-01-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it's diminishing because you lack the capacity to hold my interest in that aspect.

2011-01-23T19:36:00.003+08:00

Job Status: Unsuccessful. :(

Fret not Iris; don't stop the applications.

Jiayou! :)

冲动我的手在发抖
爱情路是那么陡走了好久没尽头
你选择留我选择走

2011-01-20T22:47:00.003+08:00

Where are you?
I need you.

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful,
but heartache crushes the spirit...
A cheerful heart is good medicine."
Provers 15:13, 17:22

2011-01-16T20:04:00.003+08:00

I'm so tired of this cycle. I need a change.

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart."
- Marcus Aelius Aurelius

2011-01-11T22:42:00.003+08:00

Are we to resign to our fates or challenge the odds that come our way?
Are we to remain contented with whatever life has presented to us or seek for "better" pastures in hopes that with the attainment of these tangible or intangible things, we will find true happiness?

Tell me why my heart feels so unsettled?
Tell me if it was a wrong leap of faith?
Tell me that all my fears and thoughts are unnecessary.
Tell me what should I do?

Search in your heart, Iris. Only you hold the answers to the questions.

2011-01-06T23:45:00.004+08:00

I headed home this evening with a different and renewed perspective about achieving success in life. DC's wise words shall serve as a source of motivation for me to strive for the best. Thank you for reminding me that I can achieve greater things if I set my heart and mind on them.

For the past 9 months, I was cooped up in a stifling environment carrying out mundane duties. Day in and out, it was just completing the menial tasks on my calendar, so much so that I had forgotten my goals, my purpose in this department and organisation, how I can apply the knowledge gained in school to my work effectively and how I can contribute my talents and ideas to further improve my work processes. Simply put, the nature of my job scope has marred my hunger for the acquisition of knowledge at work. And I never felt more unproductive and lousy at work than ever. This is definitely not what I had envisaged my work life to be. This is definitely not what I want to achieve in life.

I want to acquire new knowledge. I want to use my talents and wisdom to good practical use. I want to change lives. Afterall, we are all made to do great things beyond our imaginations.

Thank you for giving me that much-needed wake up call DC. Like you have mentioned, it is time I stop procrastinating, stop finding excuses, and begin to step out and make a bold decision.

2011-01-03T22:31:00.000+08:00

Change. Too many people are afraid of it. But how can you expect your life to get better if you're doing the same thing everyday? You want new results, you gotta throw Change into the mix.

~ Taken from Nat's blog ~

2010-12-31T23:12:00.008+08:00

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.
~ G.K. Chesterton ~

Yet again, 2010 is coming to a close in an hour's time. This year has been a very eventful one. I have completed my university education, stepped into the working world, made new colleagues, got re-acquainted with old friends, and is still trying to find a healthy balance between work and personal life.

Having to look back upon 2010, the event I probably miss the most is schooling - the acquisition of knowledge, the efforts and hours put into organising conferences, the bond built among the rebels, and the physical space of the beautiful and conducive school. I miss being a student. Growing up is sure hard to do - exciting yet scary at the same time. Speaking of growing up, I'll be turning 24 next year. Oh gosh, time sure flies! It is no wonder I often hear others mention that once we turn 21, the years just zoom past without us realising. So true.

With the dawning of another new year, I hope to fulfill the following:

1) Be happier, laugh and smile more.
2) Eat healthily, get restful sleep and exercise regularly.
3) Spend more time with my loved ones.
4) Be more tolerant of all mankind.
5) Read more books.
6) Write leisurely.

With these resolutions, it looks like I'll be having a busy year ahead fulfilling them all. So it is time I stop procrastinating, push those negative thoughts out of my mind (like what S always says), and begin to take control of my life. Anyway, what better time it is to fulfill my goals and dreams than now? ;)

Come what may 2011. I am ready. :)

2010-12-26T12:54:00.002+08:00

In the midst of my busy schedule, I want more than anything else now to wind down by the beach on the breakwater with a good friend over a cup of bubble tea, where we will chat about anything under the sun and watch the day turn into night peacefully. :)

2010-12-07T22:17:00.006+08:00

And it all boils down to my favourite quote again:
"The minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long."

2010-12-05T23:01:00.003+08:00

30 Second Speech by Bryan Dyson - Former CEO of Coca Cola

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the
air. They are Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you're
keeping all of these in the air.

You will soon understand that Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will
bounce back. But the other four Balls - Family, Health, Friends and Spirit-
are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably
scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never
be the same. You must understand that and strive for it.

Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family,friends & have proper rest."

On another note, I realised I'm not even halfway through the book DC gave me for Christmas last year ! I'm such a slow-poke. I need to get it finished soon, hopefully before the year ends.

2010-12-02T22:45:00.004+08:00

I'm up until my breaking point, so much so that I begin to question if all of these effort is worth it afterall? Is this what living is about? Is this how I want to live my life? Am i wasting my life away by torturing my soul, heart, and mind?

It has really been very exhausting for the past 9 months. I'm so numb to work and my routined life that I don't seem to find that zest for life anymore. It's just wake up --> go to work --> work non-stop --> go home --> sleep.

I'm sick of all these. I WANT a break badly.

2010-11-21T13:59:00.001+08:00

"Go ahead, keep finding flaws in everyone you know. But what happens when the greatest person rolls around? You are still going to escape, aren’t you? You’re still going to find something wrong with them when they are perfectly imperfect for you. You’re going to find a reason to run away. You’re always going to find a reason to leave as long as it prevents you from getting close."

2010-11-17T22:02:00.006+08:00

Yet again, 2010 is almost coming to a close in an hour's time. This year has been a very eventful one. I have completed my university education, stepped into the working world, made new colleagues, got re-acquainted with old friends, and is still trying to find a healthy balance between work and personal life.

Having to look back upon 2010, the event I probably miss the most is schooling - the acquisition of knowledge, the efforts and hours put into organinsing conferences, the bond built among the rebels, and the physical space of the beautiful and conducive school. I miss being a student. Growing up is sure hard to do - exciting yet scary at the same time. Speaking of growing up, I'll be turning 24 next year. Oh gosh, time sure flies! It is no wonder I often hear others mention that once we turn 21, the years just zoom past without us even realising. So true.

With the dawning of another new year, I hope to fulfill the following:

1) Be happier and smile more from the heart.
2) Eat healthily, get restful sleep and exercise regularly.
3) Be more tolerant of all mankind.
4) Read more books.
5) Volunteer.

It is time I stop procrastinating, push those negative thoughts out of my mind (like what S always says), and begin to take control of my life - to accomplish my goals and dreams. So what better time is it to fulfill them all than now?

Come what may 2011. I am ready. :)

2010-11-11T22:42:00.002+08:00

I will like to believe I know what I'm doing, what my heart wants...

But sometimes I really don't.

2010-10-31T09:28:00.002+08:00

Thank you for the re-assurance.

I'm beginning to think that this may work out afterall.

:)

Come away, come away
leave it all far behind you.
Cos it's not who you are and it's not what you wanted.
I can see, I can see
the strength there inside you.
Calling you
come away to where you're bright eyed and hopeful.

As a child is this how, you saw yourself all grown up.
Cos I believe, I believe
in your smile I see someone else.
Coming through, coming through
like the sun-rays that kiss your face.
Like they always have done and they always will for you now.

And everything will be alright now, alright.

~For You Now by Bruno Merz~

2010-10-25T22:58:00.002+08:00

I am really this close to giving it up. But something tells me not to do so; that I should give it time and a chance, perhaps.

So here I am hanging on, wishing that my decision to stay is right.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
- Proverbs 4:23

2010-10-24T15:11:00.002+08:00

I thought I will share some quotes that resonate with me now. Enjoy!

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

“Holding people away from you, and denying yourself love, that doesn’t make you strong. If anything, it makes you weaker. Because you’re doing it out of fear.”

"I am coming to terms with the fact that loving someone requires a leap of faith, and that a soft landing is never guaranteed."

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."

2010-10-10T12:42:00.000+08:00

I am glad I managed to clear the air with you. Now that you know my stand and how I feel about you, I need not hide my emotions anymore.

Come what may. :)

2010-09-30T22:23:00.002+08:00

I believe things happen for a reason.

Be patient Iris and have heart, for things will only get better. :)

2010-09-22T23:47:00.003+08:00

I NEED to get out of this rut ASAP. I feel even more grumpy and frustrated at work than ever before. For the first time today, I actually find no value and meaning to the mundane administrative work I get tangled in everyday.

It's the same thing old thing day in and out - chasing after people to get things done, following up on various menial tasks, hiring, firing, etc, etc. I am tired of such routined work, tired of clearing backlog (or to put it in uglier words, to clean up people's shit).

I need to end this. It is making my life very, very miserable. :(

2010-08-26T23:48:00.000+08:00

"You are a human being, not a human doing. Take time to just be, to breathe slowly, to feel your body that is the temple of your soul. No activities, no worries, no buzzing."

2010-08-14T20:59:00.007+08:00

These pretty cupcakes really do make my day anytime! They look too good to be eaten. :D

2010-08-10T00:09:00.003+08:00

I feel like I have a lot of things to say to you, but I don't know where and how to begin with. My mind is preoccupied with a lot of matters on hand, such that I conveniently push this issue at the back of my head. Please understand that I am not escaping from it. I am perhaps not ready to face my fears as yet.

Nevertheless, I believe I will be honest to myself and to you one day. Give me some time. I will get there.

Thank you.

2010-08-01T17:32:00.004+08:00

Seeing how messy the current situation and how uncooperative the team are, I have gradually began to lose that drive to excel; to make things happen. My heart is not with the organisation anymore. I harbour thoughts of leaving everyday. I flip the classifieds everyday, in hopes to find that 'ideal' job so I can leave this 'cold' place as soon as possible.

To make things worse, I was told to forget about the old team. Sure enough, I should learn to embrace changes; for change is the only constant. But how is that possible? It's human nature to make comparisons, especially when the work processes and teamwork between the two teams are so starkingly different. In my opinion, I have been trained by the best before, hence I cannot settle for second best.

Owells, I will trudge on for now, no matter how tough it may be, until I find a better opportunity.

Wish me luck.

2010-08-01T14:32:00.002+08:00

“If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.”

~ Robert Fritz

2010-07-18T19:10:00.002+08:00

I think I seriously have this:

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

~ Vanilla Twilight by Owl City~

2010-07-04T22:09:00.004+08:00

The disappointing turnout of supporters for the athletic meet, lack of cohesiveness among team members, and most of all, lack of support from higher management further affirm my decision to leave this place as soon as possible.

I really see no point in staying.

On another note, I'm glad I managed to squeeze some time alone to reflect upon many issues that have been bothering me for months. I haven't found the answers within me yet, but I'm sure I will do so soon.

Tftm. It is back to square one again.

2010-06-19T23:31:00.002+08:00

Choosing Your Career Path by Danny Pancho (Taken from JobStreet.com)

"Your career choice should depend on your perceived happiness on the job, the potential rewards, and your chances of success. Don’t accept a job just because it matches your course or is the first one available. Make an earnest soul search first so you make an informed decision that you won’t regret later on."

I wished I had read this article 3 months ago. Then may be I will not be in a dilemma now.

2010-06-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

"That's life.
It'll never be straightforward.
You've to make decisions and live with them.
And decisions are never right or wrong.
It's up to you to make them right for yourself."

~Taken from an annonymous blog~

2010-05-25T22:01:00.002+08:00

I'm exhausted. Really exhausted. It has only been 7 weeks and I'm about to give up. I wished I was stronger so that I can persevere longer. But I'm losing hope, strength, and passion. I'm getting even more confused than ever. I go to work everyday for the sake of doing so. I complete my tasks because I have to. I don't find any value in work anymore. I loathe the huge pile of outstanding work awaiting for me every morning. And it just keeps piling up.

I've got to end this misery soon.

It's about time I decide about my career path and put these thoughts into action.

2010-05-24T00:43:00.003+08:00

Enjoy the story. (:

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?" Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!" "I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going.

When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered. "Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

2010-05-23T01:45:00.003+08:00

I'm terribly disappointed in myself. May I find the inner will to do so one day.

2010-05-17T23:25:00.002+08:00

At the end of the day, I'm still struggling with where my passion lies. I'm indeed very, very lost. I never knew I will be facing such uncertainties one day.

May I find "my calling" soon.

2010-05-16T15:22:00.008+08:00

After reading Sumiko Tan's column in The Sunday Times today, I realised that I have cherophobia, that is, fear of happiness. I strive for happiness, yet I am afraid when it comes knocking on my door. How ironic.

Quoting from her article, "A character in a Japanese movie once said that humans are cowards in the face of happiness. It takes courage to hold on to happiness. Courage - and the ability to conquer your fear and take a leap into the great unknown."

Am I ready to face my fears and stop being an escapist? Am I ready to take a road less travelled?

At the same time, I find myself standing at the same crossroads of my life again, thinking about my career, my future. Is this what I really want? I know I have to make my decision fast, and not be wishy-washy about it. What my sis said does hold some truth; if i want to quit, I must do so fast. If I drag any longer, it will be tough for me to get out of it.

It all boils down to: What do I really want to do, to be, and to have? It's time to face the truth and search my heart for the answer. Iris, you can!

On another note, I miss Japan so much. I want to be back there again, to view the cherry blossoms, to bask in the cool weather, and most of all, to savour the lovely spread of authentic Jap cuisine. Next year, perhaps? (:

May be for the most part, nothing lasts forever.

2010-05-13T21:14:00.002+08:00

I have made up my mind. I'm going to end my misery and leave for good. On one hand I'm disapponted that I'm giving up so readily, yet I know if I continue to stay on, I'll feel very miserable.

So now begins the long and ardous process of searching for a greener pasture. Wish me luck! (:

2010-05-12T22:28:00.001+08:00

2010-05-09T02:07:00.004+08:00

Step 5 of "Reclaiming Your Happiness and Freedom": Choose Insecurity.

"Anyone in life can do what everyone else does, which is nothing "extra-ordinary". Do more than you think you can; take the step you think you can't.

Dare to leave security and comfort behind. The limits you have known are the ones you are secure and comfortable with. The ones you still have to explore are the ones that make you insecure and uncomfortable."

~ Taken from "The Little Manual of Happiness" by Vikas Malkani

Choose insecurity. Given any instances in life, I am certain that most of us will choose the familar over anything else. Like any other risk-adverse individuals, I am afraid of taking a step out of my comfort zone, afraid of making commitments, and afraid of failures. I like how I am now; how we are now.

I need time. Give me more time please, to step out of my comfort zone, to explore the unexplored limits and to leave security behind.

2010-05-04T22:35:00.002+08:00

Thank you DC. Your card and gift couldn't have come as timely as this. Thank you for believing in me all these while, when I don't even have faith in myself. Your encouragement and precious 'carrot' sure serves as a motivation for me to perform well and not let myself or anyone who believes in me down.

Thank you for your patient guidance. I will never forget your valuable teachings. I wish you all the best. May our paths cross again. (:

2010-05-01T17:11:00.004+08:00

I'm tired. Mentally tired. Being an escapist by sleeping my problems away is always much easier. May I find the inner courage to trudge on. Come what may.

Is it you I want, or just a notion of your heart to wrap around so I can find my way around?

2010-04-24T21:20:00.002+08:00

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."

~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld

2010-04-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

At the turn of 23, I feel more confused than ever. So many thoughts are running through my head. I need to find some me-time to sort these thoughts out. May the Lord guide me through.

2010-04-20T02:12:00.004+08:00

On my birthday, I wish for more than anything else, to be genuinely happy or rather, to be happier than I was for the past 22 years. (:

2010-04-17T01:57:00.002+08:00

I know things will never be the same again. So before everything comes to an end, I will enjoy and treasure every moment.

2010-04-11T00:04:00.005+08:00

Thank you.
Thank you for the company.
Thank you for the laughters.
Thank you for being honest.
Most importantly, thank you for being you.
It has been an exhilarating 6 weeks.
(:

2010-04-10T21:07:00.002+08:00

I miss Japan already. I miss the cold weather, the warm and friendly locals, the fantastic food, the clean washrooms and most importantly, the beautiful cherry blossoms.

I will be back. That's for sure. :D

2010-04-10T10:53:00.002+08:00

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last.

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.

So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

~ Taking Chances ~

2010-03-28T22:59:00.001+08:00

Your email came as a huge surprise to me. I'm utterly lost for words.

2010-03-24T23:54:00.002+08:00

I am super irritated! Can you QUIT asking me to go for trainings while I am on a break? I do not want to be disturbed at all. I want to enjoy my break in peace. Is this request too much to ask for?

2010-03-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

"The 8th Habit" is my current new found bible. I so need it now, especially at this crucial stage. Perhaps it will provide me with new insights and hold answers to some of my burning questions.

2010-03-23T16:24:00.000+08:00

2010-03-22T20:34:00.003+08:00

I love Stephen Covey's perspective on Love.

"Love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that love is a feeling. But the Hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so."

"Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured."

Definitely something to ponder about.

2010-03-21T16:07:00.010+08:00

I had an entirely different experience walking around in the zoo yesterday - in a poncho. It was drizzling the whole time I was there. The rain sure dampened our moods and that of the animals', for most were hiding in the shade. Hence, it felt like they were playing hide-and-seek with us. They hide, while we seek. It's so tiring. Nevertheless, I had fun with the HR team and it is always interesting to learn about animals. (:

All right, I shall let the pictures do the talking. Enjoy!

Zoo tickets and maps

Winnie and I (I'll miss you mentor. Thank you for your guidance.)

Jo and I

Me on a bike

Me in a panda headgear

The HR team - From left: Jo, Me, Dylan and Winnie

A group pic

The ferocious but chio white tiger

Emu

Roos

Loved the contours of the zebra's body. It's so sexy.

Giraffes

Bai ma wang zi!

I especially loved this horse amongst all. So handsome. Hehe

I noticed that whenever I fish out my cam, the horses will stick their heads out like this and stay absolutely still for me to take photos. It was as if they were trained to pose for pictures. HAHAHA.

Now here's a really huge hare!

PINK flamingoes

Sam the very smart sea-lion

2010-03-21T00:12:00.003+08:00

I can't believe at this juncture, I'm still asking myself over and over again, "Is this the life I want to lead? Is this the career I want to have?"

I'm confused and very lost. I know the answers lie in me. I have to search my heart for them and be honest to myself.

All right Iris, you have 2 weeks to do so. May I find my desired path as soon as possible.

"Listen with your heart, you will understand."

2010-03-20T18:17:00.003+08:00

I'm lost for words for what I've just been told. Everyone whom I've formed a close bond with are leaving. I'm terribly disappointed. It's like back to square 1 for me. Owells, I should not let this affect me. Life still has to go on.

I WILL AND CAN SURVIVE.

2010-03-17T00:21:00.010+08:00

Time readily on hand equates to more time for soul-searching and in-depth thinking.

I know this will all be short-lived happiness. I wished it could be extended forever. But it's better than no happiness at all. So I might as well enjoy it now. (:

2010-03-13T13:43:00.002+08:00

I'm FINALLY DONE with assignments! :D

DONE WITH SCHOOL. YAY! YAY! YAY! :D

I've been waiting for this day to come since like forever. I'm so glad I'm rid of school assignments. WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

And now it's just pure enjoyment until I commence work in mid-April. :)

2010-03-07T01:09:00.003+08:00

Choices. We make them everyday. Like I could choose to be doing my assignments now instead of blogging.

I think I finally understood why I am in my current situation. It's because I chose to be.

I'm not pinning any hopes on anything or on anyone. Most importantly, I know what I want to do in my life. And that is all that matters now.

2010-03-06T21:45:00.003+08:00

It's my last lap now since I'm done with internship, which is to complete assignmens. And there's only three to do.

So stop procrastinating Iris and get started with them!

YOU CAN! GO! GO! GO!

2010-02-25T23:45:00.002+08:00

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
~ Abraham Lincoln

Sounds easy huh? But I'm still struggling with this every day.

2010-02-24T23:01:00.003+08:00

Confusion.

I don't know what I want.
I don't know how I feel.
I don't know if I'm being fooled.
I don't know how to be myself anymore.
I don't know who I am anymore.
I don't know if what I'm typing makes any sense at all.

Being an escapist is always so much easier than having to confront your fears and insecurities.

2010-02-23T22:43:00.003+08:00

As much as I want to be optimistic about it, I've decided to resign to my fate.

I'm tired of waiting, hoping, and wishing, for I know very well that it will never happen. May be not in this lifetime.

This feels like deja vu. Oh wells, it happened before and I have survived it. So I'm pretty sure I'll be able to overcome this little inner struggle again - and for many more to come.

2010-02-21T21:19:00.003+08:00

It sure sucks to be sick. I have no mood whatsoever to do anything - eat, watch tv, read newspapers, etc. (except for blogging, I guess. =P) Let's see, the last time I fell sick was days before the commencement of internship. And with just a week away from the end of attachment, my nose is leaking like a running tap. Blah. May I recover fast.

This feeling has got to go because it's driving me insane.

2010-02-20T21:57:00.002+08:00

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You're the thing that's right

Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

You said it again
My heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watchin' the shadows burnin' in the dark

And I-I-I'm in love (I'm in love)
And I-I-I'm terrified
For the first time
And the last time
In my only life, life

~"Terrified" by Kara Dioguardi

2010-02-15T01:07:00.003+08:00

Tired. Lost. Unmotivated. Feels ugly inside. Prefers to be alone and not be disturbed. Loathes how she is living her life now. Wonders if she has been shooting for the right star after all these while. Needs to get a renewed perspective FAST. Wishes she could sleep all her worries and fears away.

2010-02-13T09:56:00.000+08:00

“The stars and the planets will guide you but it’s your heart that’ll show you the way when you get there. Trust the sky. Trust yourself.”

2010-02-11T22:52:00.003+08:00

I'm looking forward to the long weekend - away from work and colleagues for a few days. I need to get my sanity back.

On another note, I have so much thoughts to share, but whenever I find the time to sit down in front of my computer to blog, my eyes will be very tired. Blah.

More updates after March the 3rd, I promise! :D

13 more days Iris! :D

2010-02-03T23:19:00.005+08:00

I "love" my monotonous life:
Wake up -> Go to work -> Work like there's no tomorrow -> Go home -> Sleep -> Wake up....and the routine continues on and on...

I need a Life.

I wish you hadn't choose to let go. Because I chose not to.

2010-02-02T21:03:00.005+08:00

On some days, I feel like quitting. While on others, I thought to myself "Hey, this isn't really that bad afterall." (or may be I've already gotten used to the workload and expectations.)

It's so easy to reject the offer - to say, "No thanks." But what am I left with if I were to do so? Nothing. I have to go through the ardous process of searching for an ideal job all over again.

To be honest, I'm not happy at work. But I'm holding on. Afterall, this is part and parcel of growing up, right? To cringe and bear with whatever life throws at you, or for this matter, at whatever my boss throws at me.

I will survive! Jiayou Iris. YOU CAN. :D

2010-01-26T22:53:00.008+08:00

To: You

Thank you for the little distraction. Though it was only for a short span of time, I enjoyed this roller coaster ride of emotions thoroughly. It will be one exhilarating week I'll never forget.

I truly admire your courage, for I know it's never easy to come forth with your feelings.

Keep smiling, keep walking. I will always be supporting you. (:

From: Me

2010-01-20T22:05:00.003+08:00

I've lost touch with "you" for what felt like ages. And lately, "you" are creeping back into my mind slowly, reminding me of those beautiful innocent yesteryears.

I was not expecting this or "you" at all. Neither was I expecting myself to miss "you" or be reminded that I deserve "you" for at least once in this lifetime.

It's time to be proactive and chase after "you"; chase after what I have been missing out all these years.

As the saying goes, "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves."

Go Go Go me! =)

2010-01-01T16:07:00.003+08:00

Work makes me terribly unhappy. Not only does work robs away my leisure time, sleep time, and me-time. Most importantly, it robs away my personality. Seriously, I don't know who I am anymore. Neither do I know what I want in life anymore.

The expectations are so overwhelming such that I'm brought to my breaking point every other day. I force myself to smile, to laugh, and to put on my best show, when deep down inside, I'm feeling HORRIBLE.

Is this a normal phase for someone entering the working world? Or is this just a bad experience I am enountering?

Whatever it is, I'm holding on. Holding on ever so tightly and telling myself that this miserable life of an intern will end soon.

Jiayou Iris! You can!

2009-12-24T23:29:00.007+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! This christmas, I will be bogged down by work. Boo. When can I be freed of work and enjoy my holidays to the fullest?

On another note, it's that time of the year again. With the twinkle of an eye, it's almost time to bid goodbye to 2009 and welcome 2010.

As I typed this post, I was trying to remember my resolutions for 2009. What were they? Did I even remember them with each passing day? Did I manage to achieve each and every one on the list? Did they even matter at all in the first place? Or did I pen them down just for show?

If there's one thing for me to achieve in 2010, it's to be genuinely happy or happier. As far as I can recall, I've not been living life the way I want it to be for the past 22 years. There are so many things that I want to accomplish, but I have not fulfilled any one of them.

In 2010, I will set out to achieve my goals - one at a time, to live a more purposeful life, and most importantly, to be happy everyday. :)

Have a good year ahead everyone! May 2010 be a smashing year for you!

2009-12-20T08:56:00.003+08:00

In the pursuit of excellence at work, are we to sacrifice our 'me-time', family life, and social life altogether?

Can we find a balance between work and our personal lives?

I'm still struggling between this fine line. =/

2009-12-13T07:29:00.002+08:00

I've never felt so insulted in my life before. I never knew words could be this hurtful. OUCH.

I wonder when my breaking point will be.

Two and a half more mnonths of HELL to go.

I WILL SURVIVE.

2009-11-08T21:08:00.006+08:00

Hmnnn...something worth thinking about. Is there anyone on your mind right now?

2009-11-01T14:52:00.006+08:00

I'm moving on to another department in two weeks' time! I'm glad I was given the opportunity to intern at this department on the management side, even though this field never crossed my mind at all. I really want to thank my training manager and my lucky stars. So it's bye bye operations, irregular shifts, and 6-day work week! :D

I will be sure to do my very best for the remaining 4 months to show my training manager that he did not make the wrong choice. (:

2009-10-25T22:21:00.002+08:00

More than anything else right now, I yearn to be served rather than to serve. Looking at the guests enjoying their buffet breakfast, sun-tanning by the pool or simply watching tv in their rooms makes me feel miserable. I WANT A BREAK TOO! I WANT TO GO ON A HOLIDAY AT THIS INSTANCE!

But for that holiday to materialize, I will have to wait for 5 more months. :(

May March come quick.

2009-10-18T20:42:00.005+08:00

I'm having terrible mood swings of late. One minute I could be feeling elated and getting all hyped up, while the next minute I could be feeling grouchy and will snap at anyone who gets in my way.

Could it be due to my monthly affair, the sweltering heat, or is it just me? (Yea, I'm probably turning into a lunatic)

Right now, I'm thoroughly dreading work tomorrow and I wish my next off day will come quick. :/

2009-10-16T22:07:00.002+08:00

I miss:
- waking up with the sun shining brightly on my face
- channel-surfing all day long in front of the television
- jogging in the evening on weekdays and
- going to bed after midnight.

Working in an industry that has irregular shifts sure makes such simple pleasures of life difficult to attain now.

May work be smooth-sailing. Amen.

2009-10-08T23:05:00.005+08:00

I'm learning.